Equanimity

A calm acceptance
not the stillness of a doormat,
but the quiet of trust.

An openness to change,
not only the changes we expect
like the seasons.

Leaves turning,
tides pulling from shore,

but the ones that arrive
without asking.

A recognition of what is:
gain and loss,
pleasure and pain,
status and disgrace,
censure and praise.

The tides come in
The tides go out
Neither asks me
who I am.

A steady mind
aware of the feeling
without becoming its meaning.

I am learning
I do not have to become
every storm
that passes through me.

Weather is impermanent.

Beyond it,
behind it,
holding all of it….

the sky.

and the sky is I.

Equanimity.

Published by KB

This is my attempt to resuscitate a blog I started in 2019. Then COVID hit, life shifted, and I quietly drifted away from it. But now, I'm excited to revisit SBAR and see what it might become. Think of this space as a comfortable virtual lounge where we can gather, reflect, and informally share our stories. I, like many of you, wear many hats, and I'd love to learn about the ones you're wearing. Which hats are your favorites? Which ones have served their purpose and can respectfully be taken off? My nursing career of over 15 years often felt like climbing ladders...clinical ladders, academic ladders, professional ladders. In 2020, I stepped into my first APN role, and since then, my path has taken me in many directions, sometimes feeling less like a climb and more like wandering along the edge of a cliff. Just when I was ready to give up, let go of my per diem positions, and stop searching for the elusive "right fit," something unexpected happened. A new opportunity found me. I'm now stepping into the world of clinical research, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I may have found my work home. Outside of healthcare, I am also a yoga instructor (forever student), a wife and mother, a traveler, and most recently, a writer... I'd love to connect with like-minded people and share our experiences beneath the many hats we wear. Maybe, together, we can find the courage to occasionally take a few of them off, set them beside us for a while, and get reacquainted with the person underneath. With gratitude, KB

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